He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize