You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
