Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
