Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
