That's intense
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
