I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
