I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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