I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
