Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
