i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
