just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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