Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
