Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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