I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
