Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
