I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
