um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Less talking, more tequila
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
