My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
