wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
