The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize