I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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