If i come over, it means nothing
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
