I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
