idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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