Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
