hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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