Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
