the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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