the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Drunk is not a location!
I'm like, not good at living.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
