YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
