In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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