you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
