Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
