And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Randomize
