no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
