he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
