What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
