Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
