Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
