...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
