We named our party play list daddy issues
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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