that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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