so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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