Your mouth is God's brothel.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She announced her abortion via fbk
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
