if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
