Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
