I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
