you would pick up someone in the library
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
