belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I got inside last night via doggy door
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