he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
