i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
