Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
