these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
