gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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